Wednesday, November 17, 2010

That is NOT banana...

I've come to find that with being a mommy you tend to get excited over some unusual things.

For example, Emily got constipated while we were in Disney. At 10pm one night she was screaming and in obvious pain. James called down to the front desk and was going to take a cab to Walgreens to get her medication. We found out there was a pharmacy that delivered so when Emily finally fell asleep I convinced him to just wait until the morning. In the meantime I called the pediatrician, who suggested three things: prune juice (tried it), "stimulating her anus with a thermometer" (didn't have one...bad parents) and if all else failed, give her a baby suppository (WHAT!?). I prayed and prayed that the prune juice would work as I did not want to be sticking anything up my little girl's bottom.

Morning came and there was still no poop. We finally admitted defeat and called the delivery service-one thermometer and one suppository please. We waited anxiously for the front desk to call to say our package had arrived. When it did, James practically ran to the main building of the resort to get it.

When he got back we hovered over Emily, who was laying on the bed and grinning at us. She didn't appear to be in pain but we hadn't seen poop in a good three days. We weren't going to chance a repeat screaming session like the night before.

"Forget the thermometer," I said. "We're skipping to the suppository. You distract her and I'll slip it in."

James nodded and handed me the little canister. I opened it up and my jaw dropped. There were no little wax balls in there. They were like little mini torpedoes! Sadly there was no other alternative. I held the torpedo in my fingers, took a deep breath and quickly pushed it inside her little bum. I closed my eyes, waiting for the tears. There were none! Success! Within the hour she pooped. I think the entire pool heard me cheer when my sister said, "Emily pooped!" It was like my kid had learned her ABCs. Who knew poop could be so exciting?

Last week I was back to work so James took her to her 4 month checkup. The appointment was at 10am and by 11:30am I was on the edge of my seat waiting for him to call. At 11:45am I couldn't take it anymore. I became one of *those* moms.

"Well?" I whispered into the phone when he answered. "How'd she do?"

"Fine. 3 more shots. She's 13 pounds 2 ounces and 25 inches long-tall and skinny. The doctor says we can start giving her rice cereal and mashed banana."

Awesome! This is when the fun stuff starts. I couldn't wait to put her in her little seat and feed her from a spoon.

It started out pretty easy. She liked the rice cereal, but only mixed with juice. Mix it with formula and she acted like I was poisoning her. It took a little while for her to warm up to banana. For some reason she was down with me mixing banana with the cereal. Easy enough.

I had just finished feeding her and ran to get her tub since naturally she had food all over her chubby little face (and hands). When I came back to her in her seat I noticed some banana on her seat by her inner thigh.

"Oh baby girl!" I giggled. "How did you manage to get banana down there?"

All I can say is thank GOD I didn't touch what I thought was banana. POOP! POOP EVERYWHERE! I did the only thing that seemed logical-I whisked her out of the seat and put her in the sink. I didn't even bother to remove the onesie or the dirty diaper before I started hosing her down.

Now let me tell you-my girl is an explosive pooper. Happens all the time. So I don't know why this one was paralyzing but it was like I had never seen poop before. I had my poor girl slung over my arm like a frickin bag of potatoes as I sprayed her down. She didn't seem to mind-ain't no shame in her game. She wasn't the one who had to clean it so what did she care?

In the end I managed to make it out alive. Gave Bean a nice little soak and got her in her jammies. We cuddled on the couch and waited for daddy to get he could take care of the poop on the bouncy chair :)

1 comment:

  1. Haha this post cracked me up. Love the blog Kyle!