Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Pop quiz hot shot

I am ashamed that we are halfway into the new year and this is the first time I am getting a chance to actually sit down and post something new. Those of you close to me know how it's been crazier than normal in my life but things have finally slowed down a little (for now). This morning I was thinking of posting this as my Facebook status update but felt there was just too much to share to actually give the story justice. I also intend to attempt to start blogging about my participation in the Biggest Loser competition we are running at work (we are already in a week and I'm down 5 pounds!). I'm trying to avoid anything nuts like the South Beach diet (which has worked before but I love carbs) or doing some sort of weird cleanse that involves hot sauce or something like that.

Anyway, Emily is going to be 11 months this month. 11 months! Just thinking about my baby girl turning a year old a month from now makes me want to cry. She is the most wonderful, happy, spectacular little girl. More than I could have ever hoped for. We do, however, continue to struggle a bit with bedtime. Thus bringing me to my story.

Two nights ago we were up in the rocker, bathed by the glow of the Disney channel on mute (some parents use an actual night light, we use the tv). For some inexplicable reason, Emily really settles down when I sing to her. I have it on my to do list to get her ears checked because no person who hears properly truly wants to hear me sing. Just ask anyone who has ever been in a vehicle with me. Emily's favorite song for me to sing happens to be The Wheels on the Bus. I never learned all the different verses and I usually begin to repeat them or make up my own new ones. I've put dogs, horses and pigs on that bus in an effort to keep Emily from crying and to have her eyelids finally flutter closed.

After a particularly difficult struggle and way too many times singing "the wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish" I heard myself singing "the bomb on the bus goes tick, tick, tick". What!? Why on earth would something so horrific ever leave my lips, especially while trying to soothe my child? And in true Kyle fashion, instead of actually being horrified, I started giggling uncontrollably. Realizing I couldn't just let the bomb sit ticking on the bus, because with my luck this single night would lead to Emily's refusal to ever get on the school bus and months of therapy, I quickly inserted Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock into my story to save the day. I also am a fan of Dennis Hopper so he made a cameo in the song as well.

After a few more verses Emily fell asleep and I got over my giggling fit about incorporating the plot of Speed into her nighttime lullaby. Hopefully I haven't damaged the poor kid too much. I guess the moral of the story is never underestimate the power of a movie you've seen one too many times.

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